School for advanced egg sucking

When you are teaching granny to suck eggs, as the expression goes, do you really know what you’re talking about?

I mean, do you know what it really means to suck eggs, or why granny does it?

I didn’t, and, unable to tolerate my own hypocrisy any longer, I looked it up.

Apparently, it describes a practice in less fortunate times where a person would prick a hole in both ends of an egg, and then suck out its contents so as to preserve the shell.

What for, exactly, isn’t entirely clear, but perhaps it was to break it into tiny pieces to walk on, in the hope of adding further colour to the language of future generations?

It all got me wondering what us business types would attend an Advanced Egg Sucking seminar to learn. 

Here are my initial suggestions, please feel free to add, and, if any of them are any good, I promise to organise a webinar on the subject:

  1. How to receive suggestions for improvement (on obvious stuff) without getting offended.
  2. How to laugh uncontrollably (as opposed to keeping a straight face) when you, or one of your colleagues, is patently talking shit.
  3. How to throw open the doors of your mind to the possibility of improvement, as an unconditional, impulse response whenever you hear the following words in close proximity: ‘granny’, ‘egg’ and ‘suck.’ Lest, at a later date, it’s the obvious stuff that makes you choke.